Further down the river. When you crash against the shore and start again.
In 1985 I was born. I was raised in a great home with a family that loves a lot and tries their best every day. I was taught to shoot for the stars and work hard.
I worked hard but lost sight of the stars somewhere along the way. So…I stopped aiming for them.
Now, I’ve had a wonderful and blessed life…don’t get me wrong. I did well in high school. I graduated from a great college. I even got a masters degree on down the road (2 years ago).
I found new dreams…dreams that could work…dreams I believed in. But the world is real. The world is full of lots of really good things. The world also has a lot of really bad things. The world is also very ok or blah in a lot of the grey areas.
All that to say, I’ve worked hard. I’ve learned a whole lot and I’ve gotten to know some really incredible people.
At 37 years old I find myself at another set of crossroads. As I graduated from college I found myself led to being a youth director. I did that for 12 years. I worked in the United Methodist Church that entire time along with a 2 year stent at the end with a great church doing a little more balanced work as an assistant. It was mostly great. It did come with its shares of trauma. The world is a great mix of different things…good, bad, indifferent. I found it was time to step away from all of that. So, as we nestled in to 2022 I took a new job that was a fresh challenge. It was great for what it was but it was not right for me or my family in the long run. So I took the grace and blessings I’d gained from that little bit of time and set off into the summer sunset.
I sit here typing thoughts about all of this time wondering how the stars are doing. I haven’t really shot for them in a long time. As I watch my 5 and 9 year old kids grow up I see them chasing dreams and asking me when we can do more things together. So here I am taking the summer to recharge, rethink, rework…my entire life.
Everything I’ve known hasn’t seemed to be worth much over the last year. If you are really close to me then you know I have deeply struggled with a lot of things. I’ve known I needed something different. But this has come in a season where there seem to be lots of opportunities out there that no one can catch hold of. I’ve applied to over 200 jobs since last fall. I’ve had four interviews out of all of that. Only one of two of those led to job offers and only one of those was worth taking a shot on (none of this is exaggerated).
The world is hard sometimes.
What am I getting at with all of this? Personal reflection, mostly. But I think what I’m trying to grasp for is the vision I’ve come to believe is the most important thing in the universe. Peace. We should strive for it and strive to fill our lives with it. We should also strive to help others fill their lives with it as well. So I’m setting off into that summer sunset to see what stars I can shoot for before it is too late. I don’t expect to find a buried treasure but I do feel more peace today than I’ve felt in a long time.
As I wrap up these thoughts I am also going into a fantasy/sci-fi convention with no real plan except that I have a table reserved to share some of my passions and creative thoughts. I also have a family that loves me and enough breathing room in my life to spend a month or two trying something new.
I don’t know what the next few months are going to look like but I know it is going to involve putting my family first while chasing our dreams together.
If you’re around the Birmingham area tomorrow night, Saturday, or Sunday (and have read this far) come on down to the Riverchase Galleria for Magic City Con. I’ll be in the guest/vendor hall with a fan table. I’ll be dressed as a Fortnite character and handing out free Fortnite cards and drawings.
Remember, never lose your vision of who you are and what you love. Life is too short to worry about chasing a life that isn’t yours…all the while missing out on the beautiful people and events around you.
Keep meming. Keep dreaming. Peace.